Episode 1
We meet Cess, a young girl who lives in a commune with four boys. Even though one of the boys is gay, she is firmly convinced they're all in love with her. She has decided to go on a mission to make them fall out of love with her, focusing on what boys wouldn't like in a girl.
This is me, I’m Cecilie, and I’m 24 years old, and I am single. Something I’d like to continue to be.
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Cess is NOT on a boyfriend-hunt.
Cess:
"Ew!"
I am a young, beautiful and talented girl. Frankly; I am the total dreambabe for lot of guys, if not all.
But I don’t want to be in a relationship! All my girlfriends with boyfriends, do nothing but complain;
Girl 1:
"If it hadn’t been for me, my boyfriend would have starved to death!"
Girl 2:
"He never calls me back!"
Girl3:
“I can’t, I’m watching football with the guys that day”
Girl 2:
"Yes, I know! Always!"
Cess:
I have managed to stay single for such a long time. I’m quite the pro; six years to be exact. So throughout this series, I will be showing you how to stay away from a relationship.
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Cess:
The first thing you have to learn, is to steer clear of men you don’t know.
Do not engage in eye-contact! They’re like dogs, florists and drug-addicts, if they get eye-contact with you, it’s game over.
Be stuck up, pretend you can’t hear them when they talk.
Cashier:
"Would you like a bag?"
Cess:
Bag, receipt, sex with me, very uncomfortable!
Cashier:
"You forgot your gum."
Cess:
Stuff like that; ignore it! Just get yourself out!
Don’t ever accept something from a man!
Waiter:
"Would you like something to eat?"
Cess:
"No!"
What, do they think food is an automatic entry into me?
Handling strangers is the easy part.
It’s harder when it’s comes to, for example, friends or colleagues.
You can just imagine what it’s like for me, living in the commune.
ALL the guys want me to be their girlfriend!
So what would it take for a guy not to want to be in a relationship with a woman?
Seb: "What would make me not like a woman? Bad odour."
Fridtjof: "I do not like girls who are indelicate."
Jakob: "I can get a little frightened by girls, that I can tell isn’t really that fond of men."
Fridtjof: "And lots of armpit-hair."
Kevin: "Girls?? They lack a lot of stuff. And a big something."
Cess:
Throughout the next episodes, you’ll see me doing my best to avoid entering any relationship with any of the guys in the commune.
"Pull my finger! Hahahahahaha! Hohohoho!"
He will do anything to get his hands on me!
Episode 2:
See what happens when Cess takes Seb on a date whilst trying to be as macho as possible to make him dislike her!
See what happens when Cess takes Seb on a date whilst trying to be as macho as possible to make him dislike her!
This is me, I’m Cecilie, and I’m 24 years old, and I am single. Something I’d like to continue to be!
Inscription: Cess is NOT on a boyfriend-hunt.
Cess:
There are actually different techniques to avoid getting a boyfriend.
And even though guys ALWAYS wants a girlfriend, there are in fact, some things that boys do not like.
Seb: "If I fall in love with a woman, and she behaves more butch than me; well that would have me reconsidering it at least three times over."
Fridtjof: "And I hate it when girls try to help me lift stuff."
Jakob: "Nudging, mocking, holding the door for me...."
Seb: "Like the girl paying for stuff, just isn’t right."
Jakob: "Leave it to the boys."
Fridtjof: "You get to be a woman and …. Light scented candles."
Kevin: "I don’t give a rats ass about girls, and that’s that. Period. Except Celine Dion, her I care about."
Cess:
ALL the guys in the commune wants to have me as their girlfriend. And Seb is really aggressively pursuing me.
Seb: "What are you watching?"
Cess: "Not now, Jens Sebastian. Sit further away from me."
Cess:
I was watching TV, and he just came and wanting to snuggle up to a movie. Snuggling up to a movie is guys’ all-time favourite thing to do.
Seb:
"Is it OK if I play some FIFA? Or what? Are you watching something important?"
"Hm?"
Cess: "Sure…"
Seb: "So it's OK?"
(at restaurant)
Cess:
Something boys do not like, is going out with masculine women.
Seb will be arriving soon, and I’m going to treat him as if he were the woman.
The thing is: Seb thinks this is a date.
Seb: "Yo, hi."
Cess:
"YO!"
"Do it like this! It’s kinda’ cool to do it like that, I’d wish we’d be like that towards each other more often!"
Seb: "What’s up?"
Cess: "Oh nothing. Just cool to hang with my bud, you know, Sebb!"
Seb: "Sebb?"
Cess: "Sebbster!"
Seb: "Yeah, OK.. well, I think I just want something light, like a baguette or something."
Cess:
"What, are you dieting?"
"Potatoes! Haha!"
Seb:
Cess seems very harsh today.
Cess: "Just order whatever you want, no worries, it’s on me!"
Seb: "No, no, no need for that."
Cess:
"Sure, It’s on me! You know, cause I make more money than you do,
which makes the natural solution for me to step up and pay."
Seb: "So, did you have something particular you wanted to talk to me about,
since we couldn’t eat at the house?"
Cess: "No, no, no. Isn’t it just nice for us to hang out here a little together,
you know, talk about some cool stuff, you and me."
Seb:
"Yeah."
Cess:
"Women and cars, such a mess."
"Played any video-games lately?"
Seb: "Yes."
Seb:
Does she want to be like a man, or what? What’s the deal with that?
Seb: "Argh…. But..."
Cess: "What? It’s just water."
Seb: "You’re getting it all over the food."
Cess: "What? Is it making you angry?"
Seb: "No… I just…"
Cess: "You’re so cute when you’re mad."
Cess:
Seb has now gone to the bathroom, and I think this is going very well.
I’ve been acting like a guy, and I can tell it’s starting to annoy him, so I’m pretty sure I’ve got him exactly where I want him. He is probably starting to re-think his crush on me.
Seb: I’m not in love with Cess. Why would you ask me that?
Cess: "OK, then, Ladies first."
Seb:
"Huh, huh."
"Where are you going, to the commune?"
Cess: "I am not coming home with you Seb."
Seb: "But we live in the same house. OK… gotta' go, catch you later."
Cess: "Still in love....argh..."
Cess:
Now I’m not sure if it worked, but I’ve dodged the bullet so far. Besides, Seb isn’t the biggest problem. The three other guys are even more in love with me. And I need to work on that.
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Do not miss out on the following "Cess is NOT on a boyfriend hunt" episodes!
For episodes 3-5, click on my Profile in the left-hand corner -------------------------------->
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