Kollektivet: The Charter Nightmare

A family decides to go on holiday to Gran Canaria.
Thinking they'll be able to ditch the tour-guide-charter experience and the kind of people those kinds of outings attract; they are in for a nasty surprise as the tour-guides reveal their uncanny ability to get the people to participate whether they want to or not.

 Wife:You’d think we were going on some charter-trip.

Norwegian: Hi and welcome to Gran Canaria, this 
                bus journey will transport you to the hotel.
Swedish: Hi and welcome to Gran Canaria, this bus
                journey will transport you to the hotel. 
Danish: Hi and welcome to Gran Canaria, this bus
               journey will transport you to the hotel.

Wife: I cannot believe that people do this over and over again.
Husband: I know, I know.


 
Wife: The volume is way too loud Frank, you need to do something.
Husband: They‘ll probably be done in a minute,
                 people are very tired and everyone just want to get to the hotel as quickly as possible.

Swedish: This trip will approximately take three and a half hours.
Norwegian: This trip will take three and a half hours,
                     and we will be your tour-guides throughout the entire  journey.
Danish: ....and we will be your tour-guides throughout the entire journey.
Norwegian: cough
Swedish: cough
Danish: cough
Norwegian: Excuse me.
Swedish: Excuse me.
Danish: Excuse me.
Norwegian: On the right you can see the biggest waterworld In Gran Canaria.
Swedish: To the right you can se….

Wife: Frank, I’m going insane! I’m going insane!
Husband: I don’t understand, why do they keep repeating it in all the languages??
                 I get it the first time they say it!

Norwegian: We will now be passing around a form where you can sign up for a trip
                     to go look at some old ruins.
                    We will be coming around with the bus to pick you up tomorrow morning at SEVEN AM.

Husband: We do NOT want to look at the ruins!

Swedish: A trip to look at the old ruins….

Husband: We will NOT be participating in that!

Swedish:….tomorrow morning at seven am.

Husband: Just to make that perfectly clear.

Danish: The bus will be coming around tomorrow morning to pick you up at seven am.

Husband: Let us out!

All tour-guides: You are starting to feel sleepy. You think Spanish folk dancing is fun.
                          You will be doing morning exercises by the poolside. You will be looking at ruins.

Husband: How did we….?
Wife: Why are you wearing a Sombrero??
Husband: WHY ARE WE WEARING CROCS??!

Norwegian: And now, some classic Swedish meatballs at the local tavern.

Husband: We do NOT want to participate!

Swedish: And now, some classic Swedish meatballs at the local tavern.

Husband: Although.. meatballs can be very good....

Danish: …. at the local tavern.

Husband: Mmmm, Swedish meatballs. Where are we?!
Wife: Why do you have a mullet?!
Husband: Why do you?!

Danish: Tonight features some Spanish folk dancing.
Norwegian: Tonight features some Spanish folk dancing.
Swedish: Tonight features some Spanish folk dancing.

Husband: We Do NOT…. Scream
Wife: Scream

Wife: Why are we dancing??
Husband: I have no idea.
                Why are you talking with a Frekstad dialect?(Hillbilly-dialect)
Wife: I have no idea.
Both: Scream
Husband: Why are we doing morning exercises by the poolside?
Wife: Why are you wearing a floatation ring?
Husband: Because I LOVE floatation rings!
Both: Scream


All guides: You think charter-trips are the best. You will be going on them, again, and again, and again....

Wife: What’s going on?
Husband: I had a nightmare!
Wife: A nightmare?
Husband: I dreamt that we were on a charter trip to Gran Canaria...
                                  AND WE DIDN’T LIKE IT!